Know your stars
by Inutitant12
Summary: Know your stars. There will be a tranquilized Luffy, Sceaming swordsman, A dateless cook,A blackmailed theif,battle of the liars,A gulible deer. And a special! Please Read and Reveiw!
1. Chapter 1

**Know your Stars!**

_**Hey. It's me again. You may know me for writing a teen titans story. So now I'm writing a One Piece show. I like humor. So I decided to do a humor story. Please send me reviews. This is my first time writing humor. There are many characters crossovers.**_

_**So here we go! **_

Luffy walks on stage and looks around. "Hello? Some kid said that there's a mountain of meat in here! Hello?" Luffy said.

Then Luffy looked around and spotted a chair

"Hmm. It wouldn't hurt to hurt to sit down for a while" Then Luffy sat down.

Them a booming voice announced "Know your stars, Know your stars, Know your stars"

"Hey. Who's there?"

"Monkey D Luffy is actually a mutated monkey."

"What! I'm not a monkey! My first name may be monkey but I'm not really a monkey!"

"Right And I'm dating my car. "

"You are?"

"**No**! I was being sarcastic. Ahem. Luffy's real name is Dick Grayson"

"No. That's Robin's real name."

Then Robin comes out on the stage and said. "Luffy, You said you weren't going to tell anyone about my real name!"

Suddenly the whole audience started to laugh.

"Sorry Robin. It just slipped out."

Then Robin stormed off.

"Okay… Luffy. He wants to be King of the S.S Diarrhea. "

"What! I want to be king of the **Pirates**! Not the S.S Diarrhea!"

"Luffy. He writes Romantic poems about Vivi. And makes out with himself"

"No I don't. We were taking her to Alabasata. So she could end the war. I don't write love poems about anyone! And I don't make out with myself!" Luffy said while getting angry.

"Don't lose your temper Mr. Whiskers."

"Who in the world is Mr. Whiskers?"

Then the real Mr. Whiskers comes out and wave his hand at the audience.

" Hi. I'm l Mr. Whiskers. I suddenly fell of a cliff and landed right here. Anybody want to see my ear wax?"

Most of the audience started to gag and some of them fainted. Whiskers shrugged and left the studio.

" Okay back to me. Ahem. Luffy is a cross dresser. He sneaks into Nami's dressing room and try her clothes on. And Pretend He's Nami.

"What that's not true! I'm not a cross dresser."

"Then can you explain this?"

Then a screen appeared, showing a picture."

"Hey. That's Nami's picture with my head taped over her head!"

"No it isn't! Luffy. You ate the Kilo Kilo fruit. You can change your weight from one kg to 100,000."

"I ate the Gomu Gomu fruit. Miss. Valentine ate the Kilo Kilo fruit. Besides, She creeps me out a bit. Now come on out here and face me! Gomu Gomu no Hanabi **(Fire works, I read Luffy's attack guide. Luffy wildly punches and kicks the whole studio.)**

"Hey! Stop attacking the studio! This studio costs money!" The Voice yelled

"Then come and face me you coward!"

"No I have a better solution."

Suddenly a tranquilizing dart hit Luffy in the neck and he fell.

Now you know Luffy. A mutated Monkey whose real name is Dick Grayson, He's King of the S.S Diarrhea. He writes Love poems to Vivi, Makes out with himself. He's a cross dresser who some times pretend he's Nami. And he ate the Kilo Kilo fruit.

"That's not true! They don't know me!" Luffy shouted.

"What! You aren't paralyzed? How can that be? Hmm. No matter. Shoot more tranquilizing darts at the monkey."

Suddenly Luffy was covered with tranquilizing darts. Then two officers came and dragged him out of the almost destroyed studio.

"So what do you think? Oh. Hold on a sec…" 

Then the guy who made the voice walked up to the writer and said "Now the deal. I make fun of them while you pay me 200 berries." "Well. Here's your pay. You just have to make a few more lies and you're out of here." I said. "Well… okay" the guy said as he headed back to the loud speaker.

"Please send me reviews. I will do Zolo next. See yah!"


	2. Chapter 2

Know your stars

All right I'm baaaaaccckkk! And in the last chapter, I meant Robin from Teen Titans. I have no responsibility on what my crazy friend will do. Colonel Zolo: Yah! I wan to meet Zolo now! o Kamui elrick: Yah. I can't believe we're goanna met them! Inutitant12: All right, all right. I'm not goanna do a disclaimer… Colonel Zolo: Just get on with it! Inutitant12:Okay, Okay. Zolo fans and my friends Colonel Zolo and Kamui elrick (glares suspiciously at Colonel Zolo,) please do not flame me. I will make fun of every character in the straw hats crew, although I don't know much about Chopper and Robin. Please review! No flames. I do not own my friends. In this chapter, I isn't like know your stars but It's funny I hope.

Zolo walks in and looks around.

"Hey. Some girl said that Mihawk was here, but I don't see anyone. Wait. What if this is a trap, I better prepare to fight." Zolo thought.

Then Zolo spotted a chair.

"It wouldn't hurt to sit down. I had a big lunch." He thought when he sat on the chair

Suddenly Momo from the Avatar flew in with a red bottle in his feet.

"What in the world is that?" Zolo Questioned

Momo dropped the bottle in Zolo's feet.

When Zolo tried to get up. His feet didn't move

"What the…? Why can't I move my feet? Hey you flying fur ball. What did you do to my feet!"

Then a booming voice said "I paid him to drop a stone spell so your feet are stuck to the ground until the end of the show. And I need to take those swords away from you. Oh Momo, thank Aang and Juniper Lee for me, will you?"

Suddenly Kohaku came and took out his swords. "You'll have these back when the show ends." He said coolly

"Hey you brat. Come back here with my swords! Don't damage the one Kuina gave me. If you do, you'll regret the day your worked for him.

"Ahem. Anyway, Back to the program. Okay. Know your stars, Know your stars, Know your stars!

"Roronoa Zolo, His swords are fake. They're made of plastic."

"What? My swords are real! If you give me them, then I can show you!" Zolo Yelled

"Yes they're fake! I made Kohaku check them."

Suddenly Sango and Kilala burst into the room.

"Where's Kohaku? I need to see him."

"He went that way." Zolo pointed to the direction where Kohaku disappeared.

"Thanks Zolo." Sango said as she left with Kilala

"Ahem. May I continue! Zolo. He learned how to sword fight by training with Barney the purple dinosaur."

"Hmm. You make up lies so you can hear people shout and go crazy. But you get annoyed when they don't do that. So I'm goanna be calm and annoy you instead,"

"Hmm. Your really cunning but you'll crack soon. Zolo. You take ballet lessons"

"…….." Zolo stayed quiet

"Fine then! Zolo ran around the island and said that a girl beat him! And he went crying home to his mommy."

"………"

"Grr. Zolo, he's really a reincarnation of Kikyou."

"No. Kagome is." Zolo answered calmly

"Zolo reads "girls in bikini swimsuits" magazines"

"Hm……."

"Oh! Fine. I'll release you."

"Finally."

Zolo stood up and started to walk out side when a steel door blocked his path.

"Hey you said you'd release me!"

"Well, yes. I released you because the spell wore off, but I didn't say I'd release you from the studio."

"Why that no good bastard." Zolo whispered to himself

"Since I can't break you with insults. I have to use plan B. The lucky winners will get to meet Zolo has to have these numbers, 65 and 79.

Colonel Zolo and Kamui elrick stood up.

"Alright! Yah! I get to see Zolo!" Colonel Zolo yelled

"Cool! Come on!" Kamui elrick said.

Both of them ran down the audience steps.

"What! Who are these kids?"

" They paid me to let them be here with you if you refused to yell at my lies. Have a good time!"

"Hi Zolo. Teach me your moves. Do you want to get married?" Colonel Zolo asked

"Let the wedding begin!" Kamui elrick said.

"Aaahh! Help! Who are you people and how do you know me?"

"We watch One Piece. You're our favorite character. Hey guy in the voice booth. Can you close the studio so we can get to know Zolo a bit more?

"Ooookkkaaayy? Well okay. Bring in the dancing lobsters."

A steel dome appeared out of nowhere covering all three.

_**Hey you guys. What do you think? It's a little different. Do you want me to let people talk to characters or do want it like chapter one. Tell me. Review! Bye! **_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Know your stars. **_

**_Hey people! My friends wanted to be in One Piece so I put them in it; by the way you're welcome. Zolo is very hot headed but in my chapter, I wanted him to annoy the Voice instead. Voice: Hey! This wasn't part of the deal! Inutitant12: (Laughs nervously) Super Toilet. Voice: Ahh! Where! Did Timmy Turner wished for it again with the help of his fairy godparents! Get it away from me. There's so much clogging! (Voice runs to a dark corner, sits down and rock back in forth while sucking his thumb.) Inutitant12: You just have to know their weakness. I'm torturing Sanji today, since all of you cool reviewers wanted me to bring him in the next chapter. Enjoy! No Flames. _**

Sanji walked in the studio.

"Hey. Where's my Nami-san? A kid told me she would be here. Hello!"

Sanji walked to the chair.

"I've been fighting a lot of villains with my feet. I can't stand any longer. I have to rest my feet." Sanji thought to himself.

Then a big booming voice said, "Know your stars, Know your stars, Know your stars."

"Hey. Whose there?" Sanji said while trying to find the guy.

"Sanji. He likes to watch Tele Tubbies"

"No I don't!"

"Yes you do!"

"No"

"Yes"

"No"

"Yes"

"No"

"No"

"Yes! And that's final! Wait what?"

(Snickers, Which means to laugh quietly not the snickers chocolate bar) "Sanji. He's secretly in love with Zolo!"

"What the..…? I do not like that hot headed swordsman!"

"Sanji. He pees in the food he cooks."

Half of the audience gags and there was angry shouts and protests everywhere."

"Ew.I make my food with fresh vegetables and meat. I never put anything disgusting in the food I make!"

"Sanji. He rides chopper like a horsy."

"I'd never do that stunt! Chopper is a crewmember on the ship. Not a pony ride!"

"Sanji. He draws pictures of Nami naked."

Sanji blushed. "I do not! I respect her. I don't do such dirty things! "

"Then explain this!"

Danny phantom flew in his ghost form holding a picture in his hands. His eyes were wide with horror but drooling at the same time.

"Danny! Just hand him a picture."

Danny handed Sanji the picture.

"Hey. It's a picture of a monster truck!"

"Oh no! The T.J express gave the wrong photo! I'm so goanna sue them! Oh well. Sanji. He's a four timing liar."

"Huh? I only love Nami! She's the one for me."

"Yah right. And you dated Fuu, Kikiyou, and Raven,"

"What! Why would I do such a thing? You're a crazy bastard you know that!"

Suddenly Fuu from Samurai Chaploo, Kikiyou from InuYasha, And Raven from teen titans appeared.

"Sanji! You no good four timing jerk! How could you do such a thing! And to think we fell for it!" Fuu yelled.

"Ahh! Girls! That guy's lying. I never dated anyone!"

"Mugen! Jin!" Fuu yelled

Suddenly Mugen and Jin appeared with swords in their hands.

"Is this the guy?" Jin questioned.

Fuu nodded while Mugen and Jin charged.

"Azerath, Metrion, Zynthos!" Raven yelled and tried throwing a chair at Sanji.

Kikiyou got her bow and arrows ready.

"Ahh! Ladies! Ladies! Please! Stop this right nnnn….. " Sanji ducked on of Mugen's attacks.

"Oh. Now you're asking for trouble!" Sanji said as he kicked Mugen out of the way.

"Now you know Sanji. A guy who loves to watch the Tele Tubbies, Who's in love with Zolo, pees in his own cooking, who rides on chopper like a horsy, who draws naked pictures of Nami, and Now he's getting kicked in the butt by two girls and two bodyguards.

"No! They don't know me! Everything is a lie. I'm goanna kick your butt after I deal with these two."

"What. Can't you beat me? You're a pathetic (bleep)" Mugen cursed

"Hey. Watch it with those sailor words! Soon you'll end up like one of the sailors I beat up."

Sanji was standing on the Stage lights. Kikyou aimed an arrow at him but he jumped away and the arrow hit the fuse box. Now the whole place was dark. There were sounds of swords clashing, Kicks, Arrows shooting, and Raven chanting.

_**Hey. So what do you think? Please review. I'm doing Nami Next. See yah! **_


	4. Chapter 4

Know your stars

_**Hey there! I can't believe 264 people read this fic! This story is getting a lot of hits than my other story, although only12 people reviewed. I love getting reviews. And I'll ease up on the characters on different shows a little bit. Enjoy! 0 Please review! No flames **_

Nami walked into the studio.

"Hey. This isn't the map store! Well. At least I lost Sanji. But where's the others?" Nami thought.

She walked next to the chair and sat down.

Then a big booming voice announced, "Know your stars, Know your stars, Know your stars."

"Hey! Whose there!"

"Nami. She's really the yellow Tele Tubby in Tele Tubbies."

Nami looked at the ceiling with a "wtf" look on her face and said "No I'm not!"

"Nami, She's in love with Usopp."

"Why would I be in love with that lire? He's to chicken to even fight."

"But you're the weakest fighter in the whole crew! You rather steal than fight with the others. "

"So?"

"Hmm. Nami. She dated Pandaman."

"You mean that hidden character that appears on random episodes in One Piece. No way. He always leaving without people noticing" She answered

"Nami. She's actually a Man in disguise."

"Hey! I'm 100 woman!"

"Your parents told the doctor to change you to a girl instead of a boy because they're worried if you bring a snob to the prom."

"I know I'm a woman! I lived with my sister Nojiko and my foster mother Belmeil. I never knew my parents because they were killed in a storm so how could they change me if I never knew them?" Nami answered with a bit of sadness in her voice.

"Aww. It's okay. Don't cry. This is Know your stars. **Not Opera**! Nami. She's actually a demon disguised as a human."

"I'm not a demon. I'm a Woman. Do I look like a demon to you?"

Suddenly InuYasha came in with his tetsuiga (sorry if I spelled it wrong.) and looked around.

"Where's the demon?" InuYasha yelled

"Right over there."

"Hey! I'm not a demon!"

"No not you. A snake demon came in here. Kagome. Do you sense the jewel shard?"

"InuYasha. I sense it over there." Kagome pointed at the makeup room

"That's it I'm leaving." Nami said

"Wait! Don't go!" the voice said

"Hello? Why should I stay? If I leave you wouldn't have a show."

"Stay here or I'll show this to the whole world!"

A screen appeared in front of Nami and her eyes widen in horror. (Her eyes are now brown circles with only black pupils. No white lighting)

"Where did you get that!"

"Hmm. A little birdie gave it me."

"Grr. Fine I'll stay." (Her eyes turned back to normal)

"That's a good girl. Now back to the show. Ahem. Nami. She makes out with everybody in the ship."

"Eww. No way. I would never make out with anyone! You're a crazy baka (idiot) you know that"

"Nami. She will now ride on a unicycle wearing a clown suit. And throwing doubloons at everyone in the audience."

"Your crazier than you thought because I would never EVER do that stunt."

The same screen appeared in front of her.

"You wouldn't want this to end up on the Internet."

Sigh "Alright I'll do it."

_15 min later _

"No way am I doing this stunt!" Nami said while walking out of the destroyed makeup room (Hmm. I wonder who destroyed it? I know but I'll let you guess because it's so easy.) wearing a clown suit without makeup in her face.

"Well then I just have to…hey! My blackmail box, where'd it go? Nami!"

Nami gave him a smirk.

"Didn't you know I'm a thief? And I stole your copies as well."

"Well now you know Nami. She's really the yellow Tele Tubby, She's in love with Usopp, She dated Panda man, She's actually a man in disguise, and she/he's a demon that loves to wear clown suits.

"You don't know me. Nobody knows me. And I'm a Woman! And the only reason I'm wearing a clown suit is because you blackmailed me! I'm so goanna sue you. I just need a good Layer."

Suddenly Harvey Birdman stood up from the audience and said. "I'll take the case!"

"Who are you?"

"I'm Harvey Birdman Attorney at Law. I'm here to help you because the guy who is blackmailing you, he's gone way to far! Even the writer agrees with me. Listen you voice over guy. I'll be seeing you in court!

"Fine! Sue me! I don't care! I will show up. I just want to be in a different room with a loud megaphone and nobody's in there except me!

Well what do you think? I know Nami's a little out of character. Sorry. Um I have to go now. I'm in jury duty. I'll tell you who wins the case in another chapter. Oh and to make things exciting, guess what did the voice used to blackmail Nami. Tell me after I get out of court. Please. No flames. See yah!


	5. Chapter 5

_**Know your stars **_

**_I'm back from jury duty! So far Nami won the case thanks to Harvey Birdman. I'll tell you what he used to blackmail Nami, when the story's finished. But you can guess what it is and tell me to see if you got it right. Today it's the clash of the liars. Who will crack first? Please review! No flames. _**

"Hello? Is any one there? Well. I guess this isn't the bathroom. Huh, A chair. I Captain Usopp am in need of relaxing."

Usopp sat on a chair and a big booming voice announced "Know your stars, Know your stars, Know your stars!"

Usopp ran behind a chair and trembled. (In a scared tone) "W-w-who g-g-goes t-t-there?"

"Usopp, He sleepwalks but tries to make out with Robin when he's sleep walking."

"What! I don't sleep walk. I Captain Usopp never ever sleep walked. And I don't make out with robin!

"Usopp, he talks to inanimate objects."

"And you rub your grandma's feet and kiss them too!"

The audience laughed and some of them gagged. Then one person from the crowd stood up.

"Hey big booming voice who lies a lot, Can you massage my feet and give me a sponge bath before the Grim Reaper comes!" An old lady shouted.

"Eww. No way you old hag, I would never rub someone's feet!"

"Oh. I'd pay 500 dollars if some one massaged them for me."

Suddenly Mr. Krabs come in with a water helmet. "I'll massage your feet! Add another 100 and I'll give you a sponge bath underwater."

"Now that is just plain wrong!" the voice said.

"Eww, I know what you mean." Usopp agreed

"Usopp, He makes fun of Kaya when she's not around."

"What! Kaya was the person who understood me. Both her parents and my mother died so I accompanied her and told her stories on my pirate adventure!"

"Wait. Didn't you join Luffy's crew after he defeated Captain Kuro?"

"Why yes I did."

"But you- I don't- err- Ahh never mind! Usopp, when you squeeze his nose, it makes honking noises!"

"What! I'm not a squeaking or a honking toy! And so what if my nose is long! It doesn't honk!

"Usopp, he puts his overalls on his head and his bandanna and goggles on his... and parades around saying I'm down I'm upside down man! I'm down I'm upside down man! Please honk my nose for good luck!

"Now that's just sick. And I told you before. My nose doesn't honk! I Captain Usopp and my 80million pirate army will defeat you!"

"You're in charge of weaponry! You're not the Capitan! And there are only seven members in the straw hat crew!"

"Okay maybe there's only 7 of us but I'm in the wanted list!"

"No you aren't! Luffy's in the wanted list for 100,000,000 belli, Zolo's on the wanted list for 60,000,000 belli, Robin's on the wanted list for 79,000,000 belli when she was 8 and it still stands today! You aren't on the wanted list!"

"Yes I am. Give me Luffy's wanted poster."

Suddenly a seagull appeared with the wanted poster in his beak. The bird dropped the poster and dropped something else.

"Eww! That bird pooped on me!"

(Laughs to himself) "Oh _sorry _Usopp, It didn't _mean_ to use you like a toilet."

"Grr, Ahem, Look right there on the down left corner."

Suddenly a small camera on wires dangled below. The poster was shown on a big screen TV.

"I don't see anything, Just Luffy!"

No. Look down there. There am I! I'm in the wanted picture!"

"That's the back of... It doesn't count! It's Luffy's wanted poster not yours."

"But I'm in the picture right!"

"But- you- I – ahh! I'm not goanna crack to some puny liar like you!"

"I'm not a puny liar! I Captain—"

(Mimicking Usopp) "I'm not a puny liar! I Captain Usopp this or Captain Usopp that! That's it I had it with you!"

"I also had it with you!"

_**2 hours later of pointless fighting. **_

"Okay. We both agreed that we're liars right."

"Right"

"And we get on each other's nerves right?"

"Right."

"Do you want to join me in torturing chopper next? It'll be funny!"

"Hmm. I don't know. I have to ask my crewmates."

"No! I mean. Has Nami ever treated you badly?"

"Well. I don't remember."

"You can blackmail her if you want. I have a photo of her right here. I can't use the other one since Nami stole it and sued me for it! But I took a picture of her just before she changed."

"Is that a picture of Nami in a clown suit! Oh this is good! I'll definitely get what I want if I show her this! Oh by the way. What was the thing that you tried to blackmail Nami. Is it a picture, a book, a thing? Oh please tell me!

"Okay. I'll tell you, When we get back stage. Well now you know Usopp. He sleepwalks and tries to make out with Robin, He talks to inanimate objects, He makes fun of Kaya when she's not around, When he squeeze his nose it makes honking sounds, He put his clothes the wrong way and say "I'm upside down man!", And he thinks he's in his own imaginary world."

"Hey! They don't know me and we had a deal!"

"I have to say this or the nick network will fire me! But use the photo well. Oh and she's a thief so don't lose that picture!

"Okay then."

**_Hey you guys! Please try to guess what did the Voice use to blackmail Nami? And I'm running out of Ideas so can you guys send me some funny questions. I'll do chopper next! See yah!_**


	6. Author's note

Author's note.

Dear people. I've gone through my reviews and found flames for every chapter. Am I really that cruel to the Straw hat gang? You see... The reason I put no flames is that I'm kind of sensitive. I like to get good reviews. But one reviewer, I won't use her username, Told me some things that are well kind of hurtful. I had many hits but only a few reviewed to me. Is it because most of them are flames? Please I want to know if I should write more stories or chapters.

I'm kind of sad that I disappointed my fans. I won't write anymore until I know the truth. I know I suck but I'm not an idiot! You hear me! I have a few choice words to say to that anonymous reviewer but it never solves anything. I kind of understand that I was a little too harsh. But I want to know. Should I write more or should I abandon my dream of writing stories. Please tell me the truth.

_Inutitant12 _


	7. Another Author's note

Author's note.

Hey people! I've been kind of moody lately, I don't know why. But I just want to read some stories and I found out I have a lot of messages and I'm glad. You guys are right! I shouldn't be worried over a little fuss like that. Silly me! From now on flames are accepted only if you put it mildly. I'm goanna write another chapter soon. This week I'm starting school. So you might have to wait for a while. I'll write another chapter and maybe make a sequel. Oh and that anonymous reviewer who sent me the flames... if your reading this I want to say that you're the first person who flamed me and I didn't know how to act. And I have a job to do. Really, I do have a job! Lucky me because I'm only 12! And I've been stressed lately. I forgive you. Besides, you told me how you really feel so I'm goanna let it slide for now. I'll write another chapter soon so I won't disappoint my fans! And I'll write everyone who reviewed to me in the last chapter like my other story as a thank you. Even the people who flamed me because I read my reviews so I'm in a happy mood! I can be strange sometimes or simple-minded but that's how I am and I'm proud! So please send me reviews and I'm running out of ideas so can you give me some. I'll write the next one about chopper. See yah!


	8. Chapter 8

_**Know your stars **_

_**Well I finally got the nerve to write another chapter. Do you thing I'm being to cheesy by adding different characters from different shows? Please tell me. I want to write this chapter because I'm going to school tomorrow. Yah! I'll see you tomorrow Colonel Zolo, and Kamui elrick! Oh and thanks for sending me the reviews. I feel so loved. And I mean that in a good way! Pumpkin pie and cookies for everyone! Here's chopper! Oh and thanks for the funny jokes. I'll use them.**_

The studio was empty and chopper came in and looked around.

"Hey. This isn't the medicine store. What kind of place is this?"

Suddenly a big booming voice said "Sit down chopper. It's a famous Hollywood chair. Famous stars sit on it and they loved it."

Chopper looked up, down, left, right, trying to find the voice but couldn't see it anywhere so he answered "Really? Famous movie stars sit in here? Alright uhhh... I didn't quite catch your name."

"Uhhh..., just sit in the chair please so I can start the show."

Chopper climbed up the chair and sat on the seat.

"Wait... What show?"

"Ahem...Know your stars, Know your stars, Know your stars."

"Huh?"

"Tony-Tony chopper, He's a man who ate the animal fruit"

"What! I'm a reindeer who ate the human- human fruit. And there's no such thing as an animal fruit. Wait...Is there?

"Tony-Tony chopper... He likes to dress up as a girl so Sanji can dance with him."

"I don't dress up like a girl to dance with Sanji!"

"Chopper, He gives pony rides to everyone in the crew."

"I don't give pony rides to the crew and I told you. I'm a reindeer!"

"Chopper, He convinced the boys to go run around naked on a beach. He also ran around naked saying. "I'M A HAIRY MAN! I'M A HAIRY MAN!"

"I'd never done anything like that you liar!"

"Tony-Tony Chopper, He French kisses Nami and Robin every single day."

"I don't French kiss anybody! Umm ... What's French kissing?"

"You don't know?"

Chopper shook his head.

"It's a... A-a kiss! You just throw buckets of lard and sardines on someone's head and you lick it all up. Nami and Robin like it. They're supposed to get angry because that's how you're supposed to react."

"Umm... That's a weird way to kiss. But if Nami and Robin like it, then I'll try it!"

"Man this guy's so gullible! Maybe he can mess up the crew without him noticing. This is the best idea I had!" the voice thought to himself.

"Chopper... Did you know that Nami is dating Luffy behind Sanji's back?"

"No...Really?"

"Yes. And that Usopp likes to dance naked in the shower?"

"He does? Well that explains the weird noises."

"He does dance naked in the shower? I-I mean yes! And the cigarettes Sanji smoke. They're actually candy! He just wants to look cool so he made the candy look like cigarettes.

"Wow."

"Ah heck with this, I'm making fun of him right now!" The voice thought.

"I can't believe they actually did those things."

"Chopper... I have to make fun of you now."

"Why?"

"Because I have to! Ahem... Tony-Tony chopper, He likes washing old people."

"Eww, No I don't!"

"Chopper, He thinks he's a digimon"

"What's a digimon?"

Suddenly Koji came in and looked at chopper.

"What kind of digimon are you?" Koji asked

"I don't know! What's a digimon?" chopper questioned

"It's a digitized organism that lives in the digital world. Hmm. You don't look like one."

"So I'm not a digimon?"

"I guess so. I'm going back to the digital world then." Koji said as he left the studio

"Well that was a bit strange." Chopper said

"Chopper... He's actually Rudolf the red-nosed reindeer! Come on children. Everybody sing!"

"I have a blue nose not a red one and I'm not Rudolph!

"Oh... Rudolf the red-nosed reindeer

Had a very shiny nose

And if you ever saw him,

You would even say it glows

All of the other reindeer

Use to laugh and call him names.

They never let poor Rudolf

Play in any reindeer games

Then one foggy Christmas Eve Santa cane to say

"Rudolf with your nose so bright

Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?"

Then all the reindeer loved him

As they shouted out with glee

Rudolf the red-nosed reindeer

You'll go down in history!"

Chopper just stared at the audience and stood still.

"Now you know chopper. He ate the animal fruit, He likes to dress up as a girl so he can dance with Sanji, He went streaking with his crewmates, He French kisses the women in the crew, he likes washing old people, and He also thinks he's a digimon but he's actually Rudolf in disguise.

"They don't know me! Everything you said about me is a lie!

_**Hey people! I know this chapter kind of sucks but I'll try to make the next one funnier. **_

_**Please review. I'm writing the next chapter on Robin! I'm running out of ideas so can you send me some. I decided to make a contest. Who ever can guess what the voice used to blackmail Nami... will get their idea written in the last chapter where everybody is in the room. **_

_**Well I have to get ready for school! See yah!**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**Know your stars **_

**_Hey! Sorry it took me so long to update. My stupid computer didn't work so I had to call this computer guy and he doesn't even come over to look at it! I'm so sorry! (Bows down a lot of times) An I'm goanna tell who the winner is, at the end of the story. Today I'm torturing Robin. Sorry if she's out of character. I don't know chopper or Robin's personalities. But I get through it. Please read and review! _**

Robin came in to the studio with lard and sardines on her hat and coat.

The voice snickered when he first saw her.

"Okay! Who's the voice that convinced the Doctor to throw lard and sardines at me and Miss. navigator?"

"Ha-ha. That little fuzz ball actually believed me! What a sucker! Ha-ha! Ahem. Sorry, I'm so rude. Know your stars, Know your stars, Know your stars! Nico Robin, she worked for Naraku."

"No I don't! I was partners with Mr.0 but Luffy and I defeated him. I don't know who this Naraku fellow is."

"Robin...She's a nun in disguise."

"Excuse me? I'm not a nun!

"Nico Robin. She's a teacher at Inutitant12's school"

"I'm not a teacher at anyone's school."

Suddenly my teacher came out into the studio.

"Excuse me young man! You should stop tormenting people for your own twisted games! And you Jamie!" My teacher said

Inutitant12 looks at her nervously. "Gulp. Uh-oh."

"And you call this good grammar! I check your story and there are a couple of mistakes in them! You have to spend more time after school so you can write well! Now come with me!"

"W-w-wait! I can explain...My computer was on the fritz and the one my parents had didn't have spell check but I got a new one and...Ow! Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow! Ow! Not the ear! No. Voice guy! Robin! Anybody help!" I said

The voice guy, Robin, and the audience just stood there quietly. The only noise was a cricket's chirping.

"No! I have to have free time in order to write stories!"

"You'll have free time when you pass my class young lady. Now start studying."

My teacher and I left the studio.

"What just happened?" Robin questioned

"Uh... Nothing important, let's just continue shall we. Ahem. Nico Robin. She played as Willy Wonka in the chocolate factory!"

"No. And for your information Willy Wonka's a man."

"Oh. Ahem. Nico Robin. She reads porno books."

"What! I read histories of the world, Information on the past on how the world develops. I read books on histories. I would never read such garbage as a porno book."

"Very interesting but can you explain this!"

Suddenly a book appeared out of thin air and was caught by a camera man and held it up near the video camera.

"Your signature is in there. See"

"That's not my signature. Let me take a look at it. Seis flor."

Suddenly six arms appeared out of nowhere and held the camera man down.

Robin walked up to him and took the book out of his hands

"H-h-how did you do that?" The voice questioned

"I ate the devil fruit. Hmm. See, I told you this isn't my signature. It's NICO Robin not Nickel Robin. You forged my signature."

"N-n-no I didn't! Nico Robin, When no one looks, you draw a funny face around your bellybutton and make it talk saying "I'm a fruit cake a fruit cake!"

"Now that's just plain wrong, why would somebody do such a disturbing thing!"

"Nico robin, she makes out with Zolo."

"I would never make out with anyone! Not even with Mr. Swordsman."

"Now you know Nico Robin. She worked for Naraku, She's a nun in disguise, she's a teacher at Inuttian12's school, She played the character Willy Wonka, She reads Porno books, She draws a face around her belly button and make it talk when no one looks, She Makes out with Zolo, And She loves to put lard and sardines on herself."

"They don't know anything about me! And you better apologize to me and Miss. Navigator."

"I can't. I have to save the writer or I won't get my pay checks."

**_I know this story isn't great, but the next one will. Oh and the winner of the contest is...moonlit-demoness09. You were the closest. The blackmail photo was a picture of Nami giving money to charity. Nami felt bad because she saw a girl without parents so she gave some of the money to charity. But Arlong sent a spy to see what she did. And that spy can draw a picture really fast. Before Arlong died, he sent the picture to All that. So the voice can have a great time with the picture. The next chapter the whole crew will appear on stage. Send me ideas! See yah! My teacher: Jamie! Stop talking to the readers and get back to your studies! Inuttant12: Alright All right! _**


	10. Last chapter

_**Know your stars**_

_**Hey it's me again! And I'm still going after school for those boring English lessons. Now I'm learning subjects and predicates! I had a lot of things to do but I'll make another chapter just for you guys. Today all of crew members will come on stage for the last chapter and stop paying that greedy money loving voice. Please review**_

The studio doors open and you see eight shadows.

"Well that's my cue. Know your stars, Know your stars, Know your stars." The voice said

Luffy was the first to enter, then the rest of the crew. Zolo running away from my crazy friend, Sanji was limping, Nami had an angry face, Usopp had scratches and large bumps on his head, Chopper was in a fighting stance, and Robin was ready to attack.

"Hey. What's with all the angry faces? I thought we were friends." The voice said

"Friends! You shot tranquilizing darts at me! But no stupid darts are strong enough to keep me from taking you down!" Luffy yelled at the voice

"You tricked me to do something awful to Nami and Robin!" chopper yelled

"You made those three ladies mad at me!" Sanji shouted

"What ladies?" Nami and Robin asked

"Um...I mean those two samurai idiots! They literally tried to chop my head off!

"Uh-oh." The voice said nervously

"You blackmailed me with a photo and made me wear a clown suit!" Nami yelled while taking her Bo staff out.

"You wore a clown suit?" every body but Usopp, Nami, and the voice asked.

"Yah. I have a picture of her wearing it right..." before Usopp finished **_Bong! _**

Usopp fell on the ground.

"I thought I told you not to show them the picture!" Nami said, holding her fist high with an angry scowl on her face.

"Oh Nami-san, you have a sardine in your hair." Sanji answered and took it off.

"Thank you Sanji-kun. Oh and you have to apologies to Chopper, Robin and me for tricking chopper to throw lard and sardines at us!"

"Why should I! It's not my fault he's so gullible."

"I'll get you even if it's..." Before Zolo can finish...

"Oh Roronoa _Zolo! _ You're supposed to teach me how to fight like you!" Colonel Zolo said

"Ah! Get this crazy fan girl away from me!" Zolo yelled

"We're married now! We should do things as a couple!"

"WE ARE NOT MARRIED! The marriage was a fake! That other kid isn't even a real licensed priestess!"

"So what, you guys make a great couple! I wonder how the children will look like." Kamui elrick said

"Ch-ch-ch-childr-dr-rend! Children! We're not married!"

"Hello! This is my show! Now let me do the taunting! Ahem. Sanji... he doesn't really know how to cook!" the voice said.

"What! That's insane! I can cook! I work at a restaurant with that old geezer Chef Zeif." **_(Did I spell it right?)_**

"No you don't! You have a trained monkey to cook the meals for you!"

"You do? Cool! How come I never seen it?" Luffy asked

"It's not true Luffy. You should've known by now not to trust him." Sanji explained

"Ahem. Nico Robin. She works in a men's club and dances with drunken men."

"That's a lie! I would never do that!" Robin yelled

"That's right. Robin-chan. You would never do something bad." Sanji backed her up

"Luffy. He's a poltergeist detective."

"What's that?" The confused Capitan asked

"It means you can sense supernatural intellect beings." Robin answered

"Uh..." Luffy blurted out.

"It means you can detect ghosts." Zolo said

"Oh...Hey wait! I don't detect ghosts!"

"Nami...She hates stealing so she gives money to the poor when no one looks."

"Why would I do that? It's my treasure and I don't give my treasure away or let someone take it from me!"

"Should we replay the episode again? Or do you want me to tell them?"

"Tell us what? Nami-san... Are you keeping something from us?" Sanji asked

"It's..." before Nami cold answer

_**Boom! **_

"What was that?" Luffy questioned

There was smoke everywhere and everybody was coughing.

Suddenly InuYasha appeared out of the smoke and jumped up at the ceiling.

"What in the world is going on here? This is the second time that guy ruined my property!" the voice shouted

"Feh... I don't give a rat's (beep) about this place. Hey. Where'd that beeping come from?" InuYasha asked

"My assistant is in control of a machine. It beeps when someone curses, swear, say a bad word, etc." The voice explained.

"Hey. What's all the commotion about?" Usopp got up from the floor

"There's a demon loose. It has a jewel shard on him and that bastard threw me to this building." InuYasha explained and left

"Aahh! I have to get out of here!" Usopp screamed

"Oh no you don't, I'm not finished with you yet!" The voice bellowed

Usopp hid behind my friends

"Hey! Get off of us you baka!"

"Hey! Don't call me that! I'm not an idiot! And besides, you two were the closest."

"Zolo...He makes out with the sword Kuina gave him. That's why he has slashes and cuts on his body."

"That's not true. I would never damage the sword Kuina gave me! And making out with a sword? That's plain wrong."

"You tell him Zolo!" Colonel Zolo said.

"I told you at least about a thousand of times. We are not a couple!"

"Zolo, He's really in love with Sanji"

"Hey. I don't like that cabbage head swordsman! " Sanji yelled

"Cabbage head! You always flirt with Nami and Robin. Why I ought to teach you a lesson!"

"Bring it on cabbage head!"

(Zolo and Sanji are fighting each other with all their strength)

"Go Zolo. Take him down!" Colonel Zolo and Kamui elrick cheered

Sanji and Zolo were at it for at least half an hour until Nami stopped them

"Guys! Can't you see he's putting us against each other? We should stop him before it's too late.

"Can we get back to me? Rudolph, He slept with Mrs. Claus."

"Who in the world is Mrs. Claus?" Chopper asked

"She's Santa Claus's wife."

"I never slept with anyone on the same bed! And I told you before! I'm not Rudolph!" chopper yelled

"Luffy. You mooned the president!"

"I never showed my butt to the president."

"Yes. See this picture right here."

"Hey. This isn't my butt. It's Bart's butt."

"No it isn't!"

"Yes it its. His skin's yellow."

"Hmm...Zolo, He plays dolls and dress up with Nami and Robin."

"Why in the world would I play with dolls? That's it! Where are you? Let us free now!" Zolo screamed

"My. You are a hot-headed swordsman. Chopper, He purposely tried to kill Santa's favorite elf."

"I told you! I'm not Rudolph! I don't work with this Santa guy and I didn't try to kill anyone!" Chopper explained.

"Usopp, you're Pinocchio all grown up. And that's why your nose is so long."

"I'm not Pinocchio! And my nose doesn't grow when I lie!"

"Well it should. Cause if it did, your nose would be taller than the Statue of Liberty!" The voice said as he laughed at his own pathetic joke. "Nami, before Arlong was defeated, she made a deal with a company to put his pictures on starkest (the tuna can) and made him the mascot for the Marlins!"

"No I didn't! _They rejected the picture so the payback was off." _Nami mumbled to herself

"What did you say?" the voice asked

"Um... That's a lie!" Nami lied

"Sanji, he sneaks into the bathroom and watch Nami or Robin take a shower naked."

"Uh...That's a lie! I-I-I would never do that to my lovely ladies." Sanji said

"Wait a minute. The voice may have something here. Miss. Navigator, did you noticed something strange every time you went to the bathroom?" Robin asked

"Yes. I felt like I've been watched by someone, and there were slight drafts."

The girls eyed Sanji suspiciously

"W-w-what? You don't believe this liar do you? He's putting us against each other!"

"Hey. If you don't believe me, check this tape out."

"What tape?" Everybody asked

Suddenly a tape appeared and it showed Sanji tip toeing and opening the bathroom door lightly. There was a shadow behind a shower curtain. Sanji had heart shaped eyes and sat near the curtain to see the shadowy figure. (It was one of the girls)

Then the voice fast forward to another scene (different time) where Sanji was opening the curtain a little and screamed when he opened it. Then Zolo came out of the shower with a towel wrapped around his waist, and beating Sanji up.

"Oops! Wrong scene! Hahaha! That one cracks me up!"

"Hey! You spied on us? How dare you!" Sanji yelled

"I wanted a good laugh, and if I were you, I'd take cover."

"Cover? From what?"

"Sanji! You perverted cook! You sneaked in the bathroom and saw us while we were taking a shower!"

"You Mr. Cook, You make us sick!"

(Robin and Nami are chasing Sanji all over the studio.)

"Wait! It's not what you think. Hey, Nami, is that your Clima Tact! (A weapon made by Usopp)Uh oh!"

"Perfect! Sanji is being chased by the two angry female pirates. Now to make the others crumble." The voice thought.

"Ouch! That's goanna hurt! I feel sorry for Sanji." Luffy said to his other teammates

"Well that perverted cook does deserve it." Colonel Zolo said

"For once, I actually agreed with you." Zolo agreed

"Luffy, Instead of going to a regular bathroom, you go to the litter box like Capitan Kuro only you go in front of everybody and Kuro does it secretly"

"I don't go to the liter box! You no good liar! Where are you? Show yourself!"

"Men. Prepare the darts."

"I'll fine you then! Gomu-Gomu Hinabi!"

"Ahh! Don't hurt me! They don't give me medical insurance!"

**_Rrrriiiinnnnnnngggggggg!_  
**

"Hey. What's that ring for?" chopper asked

"It means the whole show is over. So you are all free! (Sigh!) I'm going to my hot tub now!" the voice said as he left."

"Hey you guys. Let's get a bite to eat. I'm starving." A smiling Luffy shouted

"Why are you thinking of eating in a time like this! We can't have teats now!" Zolo screamed

"Speaking of treats, check this out." Nami said as she pulled out two video tapes

"What are those?" chopper asked

"Those would be our revenge tapes." Sanji said with evil smile

The girls also had an evil smile

"Luffy. Why are they smiling like that?" a scared Usopp asked

"You know that tape he played. It was an act." Robin said

"An act?" Usopp questioned

"Yup. It was an act, although it was hard getting to rent a security camera, luckily Robin knew that police girl, Seras Victoria, that was destroying the ghouls at the rentals department." Sanji said

"Any way, we played it out and we sent it in although we had to use fake names to send it in without him noticing. That voice guy would never refuse a funny clip." Nami said with a smile

"And we pretended to get angry and start a fake fight. The voice was too busy enjoying the fake fight; he didn't notice my hands grabbing his home videos." Robin said

"But how do you know he keeps his video clips in there?" Luffy asked

"Ojos flor!" eyes popped out and covers the studio

"Oh. Ha-ha! That was a funny trick. Even the part where Sanji thought he was spying on the girls, but he spied on Zolo! Good one guys." Luffy laughed

"I wasn't even in this scheme!" Zolo yelled

"Uh. I didn't see that in the tape." Sanji glared suspiciously at the girls

"We left it on by mistake. But you thought one of us was taking a shower and couldn't resist. You deserve it for trying to spy on us." Nami said

"Any way, we will air the home video on "All that" and that would be our revenge plan." Robin explained

"We'll send it tomorrow and that should tech that guy not to mess with us!" Sanji said proudly

"I knew it was an act all along!" Usopp lied

"Really! Wow, they had me completely fooled!" a gullible reindeer answered

"Let's eat!" A happy 17 year old Capitan said

"Hey Colonel Zolo..." Kamui elric asked

"Yah."

"What do we do now?"

"Let's visit Inutitan12 at school."

"Alright. But let's read the new naruto manga books down the street."

"..K.."

_**The end. **_

_**Man! That was the longest chapter I've written. Sadly it's the end of the story. But go to the next chapter and you might see your user name. I'll work on a different story as soon as possible. Hope you enjoyed it! See yah!**_


	11. Thank You!

_**Thank you! **_

So far this is my second story and I feel much appreciated! I like to thank my reviewers, and If my friends are reading this... I don't like Jiraiya! I've hear a rumor, that the people who made this site, doesn't want us to answer reviews. Is this true? Well here's the list of people who reviewed to me.

Colonel Zolo which is now changed to... kakashi-the-sword-shinobi,

Elrick luverxoxox changed to kamui elrick, to rurouni sagura, to I love ramen, to ramen love I, (man that's a lot of name switching! I can barely keep up.)

inuandrave7

smiley134679

IluvZoro

Janet

Serfia Kamay Moto

inuandrave7

Navy2Blue

June

Coalar Lee Drake

ooXXHPFANFOREVERXXoo

The Spiked Dragon

OverChasm

Keechy

MeraNova

Coalar Lee Drake

MirokuTK

Purple Moonshine

generic soda

Carleena

OverChasm

Tz

Anonymous

Serch-villa

Luffy'sFanGirl

5-stars

Shelby

lightpaladin

silverfangedgoddess09

NNNNN

Ruby- Luffy's Musician and Lover

kilnorc

Firaga

Mikol

Sqiggles

Solar Hawk

moonlit-demoness09

ShuffleWriter

A.K.W.

tori007otaku

I hope I didn't forget any one. I'll be writing a new story soon! If you have stories on fan fic...I hope they'll be #1. You guys are so cool! See yah!


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